Monday, February 23, 2009
Australia Mourns Bush Fire Victims
I considered the article an idea-driven story because it tells us about the bush fire that happened in Victoria, Australia and it also tells us about there were many people who went to Australia for memorial ceremony that was made for the victims of the bush fire.There were also some important person who attend the memorial service such as the prime minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd, Queen Elizabeth's daughter, Princess Anne, etc. All the television networks of Australia also interrupted their normal programme to broadcast the ceremony live.
I suggest the Australian government can provide strong forces of fire brigades to the state that was in dry weather. Once the place happens bush fire, there are strong forces of fire brigades to put out the fire, this can reduce the lost of lives in the bush fire.
Therefore, the villagers there will feel safe because whenever there is fire, the fire fighters are ready to put out the fire without any hesitation.
I felt pity for them because there are 209 innocent people were killed by the deadly bush fire.
Q: Do you think the Australian government is good?
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I want to point out some grammatical errors:
ReplyDeleteFirst paragraph:
a idea-driven story SHOULD BE an idea-driven story
happens in Victoria SHOULD BE happened in Victoria
there are many people who goes to Australia for memorial ceremony SHOULD BE there were many people who went to Australia for memorial ceremony
There are also some important person SHOULD BE There were also some important person
broadcast the ceremony life SHOULD BE broadcast the ceremony live
Third paragraph:
the villagers there will fell safe SHOULD BE the villagers there will feel safe
*News are something that had happened so the articles should be in past tense
Thank you for reading my article and spot the errors for me and thank you again for commenting on my blog.
ReplyDelete